Paycheck

The last time I set foot inside an office as an employed individual was April 13. It was days after when I received my last paycheck and I have been living off it for months. It was one of those Sundays when I was having lunch with my mom when she asked me if I still had money. And I told her that I was already losing money the moment I stepped out of the doors of my former office. My mom is used to my sarcasm, thank God she's brilliant.

Everyone assumed that I would be jumping ship, off to another ad agency whether here or abroad. I simply told them that I'm taking a long vacation, there were things that I needed and wanted to do. It was one of the best excuses I've ever told, in fact I was just preparing myself for the next step, the route that I've always wanted to take which was never presented to me.

It occurred to me, of course, that there were some things in life that were never meant to happen. "If it's not one thing, it could be another." Most people would easily move on, I'd do the same, but I never forget these things that happen in my life. No, let me be honest - I will never forget these things, no matter how painful or painless these things become. It makes me remember why I am doing what I'm doing and instills in me a higher purpose of what seems insignificant to some.

Only a few live their lives this way. Everyone else wants to live life the easy way. Me? I don't want to. Why? Because my life is a testament of what my father and my father's father has gone through in life. My life is proof of my ... greatness. Yes. That's the word that I was looking for. Not success, greatness. Hey, if you're only going to dream, why do you have to settle with something you can easily achieve, right? I'm going for broke. And speaking of which: as far as yesterday was concerned, I've received my first paycheck.

It is a fraction of what I used to earn, but working for it was worth it. I've never been happier compared to all the days that I've lined up in the automated teller just to see how much I've received from half a month's worth of work. I can allow myself to smile even for a bit, knowing full well that I and my partners have to work much harder. Then again, that in itself is another reason to smile.

Before leaving our place of work, my creative partner Judith was playing an old song by Cyndi Lauper, "Money Changes Everything." I find myself singing to the lyrics as I held the check in my hands. There's more from where that came from.