Self-fulfillment

When was the last time you did something for yourself?

I happen to belong to a creative shop in Manila. And for more than a decade, I've churned nothing but crap. Okay. That's cruel. 90 percent of what I do is absolute crap. One percent is the stuff that has been produced. And nine percent are the ones that never get to see the light of day.

I was a young adman when I was taught that there are three types of people you have to please with your work: your boss, your peers and the people judging your work. For the past decade, I've been doing just that. A few of my best work has seen some glitter but now all I come up with is pure 100% crap.

I had coffee with my good friend, Arnold Arre and his wife Cynthia and the topic of creating his next piece came up. He confesses that he is having a hard time thinking about his next book - fearing that it will get him unwanted and invalidated criticism. And this is exactly the kind of pressure we go through everytime our pencils leave the once-empty piece of paper.

Are my ideas sound enough? Is it strategic? Will my boss love me for that campaign? Will my peers be envious that I came up with it first? Will the judges go gaga over it? A thousand other questions flood our minds when it should only be focused on doing the work, accomplishing the task at hand.

When Arnold began his first piece of work, the only thing he had in mind was to create a comic book of his own. He had loads of fun with it. And he cared little of the criticism of others except for the people whom he respected. In 1999, Mythology Class won Best Comic Book in the 19th Manila Critics Circle National Book Awards. He never expected it, of course. And now, his followers expect so much more.

Why don't you go back to how it first started, I tell him. "When you did your first piece, you never thought about what your peers will say or what the critics will write about your work. Do it that way then. With the purest of thought, with no intention other than creating what you think is true." We go around in circles, getting ourselves out of the rut, when the only thing we need to do is travel in one straight line.

Remove the barriers - those that hinder us from compromising our work so that the only thing that we can think about is the work that we want to do, the work that makes us happy, keeps us in our seats and tables until the work is done. The work that we're proud to show off. The work that overshadows the ninety percent of crap that we do everyday. The one percent that makes us fulfilled, that gives hope to the nine percent of good ideas that it may still see the light of day.

Don't do it for anyone else but yourself. Who do you consider your peers anyway, when you want to stand out from the rest? Why do you submit yourself to criticism when you should be your own worst critic?

I tell myself this, too. That's why I write. And I write with so much passion that it helps burn the midnight oil. It is this one thought in my mind: because I'm doing it for myself, that helps me wake up every morning and keeps me glued to my computer looking at a blank page hoping to fill it up with words that mirrors my own beliefs.

This is what all individuals hope to achieve: self-fulfillment. At the end of the day, don't you want to say to yourself, that you did it with your own hands? I do. I believe in man's individual achievement. And I hope to elevate it to a point where I can look up at it and find inspiration in it. I will be envious of it and like all other individuals, I will hope to hold it in my own hands.

Count Your Blessings

Who wouldn't appreciate this particular cliché? A lot of hopeless people do. And we, a people who've seen so much anxiety and depression, seem to embrace it without thinking of the consequences of surrendering our dreams into oblivion.

Is it wrong to dream and hope for better things? Is it wrong to try to achieve something which cannot be reached? Is it wrong to think about lofty ideas? If I dream, hope and wish for something worthwhile than all of this - should I allow the world to brand me a fool?

Should I give up then and just allow the fates to deliver what is intended for me then? Lazily waiting for the apple to fall inside my mouth? Pathetic. So, why should I count my blessings? I already have thanked the powers that be for giving me such valuable gifts. I have been rewarded on the hard work that I've done, but I always want more. I know I deserve more.

I count on the things I have yet to receive. Am I asking too much then - knowing how big the disappointment can get if I don't receive what is due me? So what. I'd rather be rewarded well than not be rewarded at all. It would be impossible for me to be completely happy if I had compromised.

So, if some idiot tells you to count your blessings, just lie about how happy you are and thank them. They don't know any better and wish for nothing more but what is given to them.